by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
Every month, the "Romance
Reverend" shares her sage insights on relationships
and getting ready for soulful love! Send your
questions to RomanceRev@SoulfulLiving.com.
Sacred Sexuality For Modern Men and Women
Reverend’s Tip for Testing Tantra – For Singles
Dear Romance Reverend,
What is "tantric" sex? I hear so much
about it these days. Can singles get involved? How can I
find out more? –Janie, Oregon
* * * *
Dear Janie –
Tantric sexuality is a sacred expression of romantic
love that comes out of the ancient Hindu tradition,
which honors the divine feminine and divine male in God,
and teaches that divine love can be attained through a
loving partnership between a man and woman. Because
tantra treats the loving exploration of sexual pleasures
as a sacred act, it can unite partners and inspire
intimacy on all levels.
The best advice I have for singles is to study up on
it, look at ways of making single life an even more
sacred and enjoyable experience and develop a "tantra
antenna" that can, when you are ready, draw the
right partner to you. It is widely believed that the
woman initiates the man to sacred pleasures, rather than
waiting for a fully trained "Tantra Man" to
show up! So do your homework, and be prepared!
Eventually, couples engage in a back-and-forth exchange
of energies so intimate, and so unifying, there is this
great sense of oneness. That’s when they begin to feel
they have, through one another, found God and Goddess.
Charles and Caroline Muir are my favorite teachers of
tantric sex. They’ve brought it into the twentieth
century in The Art of Conscious Loving Seminars
they have been teaching around the world for many years.
"We’ve taken the original tantric customs and
have done our best to best to translate them for modern
men and women," Charles explains. "Our course
is designed to make you into a better kisser, lover and
toucher. It’s also designed to make you a better
In Sanskrit, tantra means "expansion."
Evidence of tantric rituals date back nearly five
millennium. Practitioners of Tantric Yoga are taught
sexual play and sexual union early on in life. Women
passed knowledge along to children. Sex was just one of
65 arts, which included singing, breathing, meditation,
chanting, writing and drawing, tattooing, and making
beds and spreading out carpets and cushions for
One of the reasons tantra is so attractive to modern
men and women is because it creates a sacred container
for lovemaking that is very healthy for both partners.
It honors our bodies, our sensual natures, and our
power. It gives men and woman a way to be close without
some of the typical barriers, such as shame, or fear of
being known by another. Men have the chance to truly
honor their women, because Tanta is a spiritual practice
in which the female is revered, treated like a Goddess
and her pleasure is the first priority.
This kind of intimacy and devotion to sexual love
that empowers and evolves each partner, comes with
practice--and patience. It requires a partner who wants
to love you as fully and deeply as possible. As I have
said many times before … the first key is to give
ourselves that love and be willing to learn and
© Copyright 2002 Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway All Rights
The Romance Reverend’s Tip for Testing
Tantric sex is not something for first dates, but to
get started, you will find a tantric kind of "soul
connection" though the eyes. Practice seeing into
people’s souls, and you are beginning to practice
Eye contact is an aspect of tantra you can use any
time – and it is not necessarily sexual or romantic.
However, when you look deeply into someone's eyes you
connect with them intimately and completely. That
technique can help anyone develop immediate rapport in
almost any situation. Looking into someone’s eyes also
helps you "know them" and get a sense of what
they are about. If a person can maintain the eye
contact, it is a sign that they are not afraid to see
you, or be seen by you. You can also trust the eyes to
tell the truth about feelings. Look into the eyes of
people you are attracted to and see if you can see love.
The love they have inside them, as well as the love they
feel for you, is always visible in the eyes. Tantra
helps us to see if a potential mate or date has that
certain twinkle, or warmth, before we do anything more
than kiss with our eyes!
For more information and study:
Secrets of Female Sexual Ecstasy, (www.sourcetantra.com)
is a home study video course produced by Charles and
Caroline Muir. This video is highly educational and also
To Seduce A Man and Keep Him Seduced (Citadel/Kensington),
by Laurie Sue Brockway. This is one of my earlier books.
I did not pick the title -- it is really about bringing
out the sex goddess in every woman. The final chapter
explores tantra and tantric relationships and introduces
readers to creating a sacred union with a loving
Complete Idiot’s Guide To Tantric Sex
(Alpha Books) By Dr. Judy Kurinansky is a comprehensive,
easy to follow, hands on tantra guide that offers a
spiritual view of sexual power. Dr. Judy is a
world-renowned clinical psychologist, sex therapist and
tantra expert. Her advice on her top-rated radio call-in
advice shows has been followed by millions of fans. In
addition to guiding couples on how to have more magical,
playful and loving relations, she addresses dating and
mating for singles and how individuals can incorporate
tantra styles and practice tantric sex without a steady
partner, as well as how to find the perfect tantra
partner. She contends tantra can enrich all individuals
regardless of age, lifestyle or relationship status and
she discusses how the tantra traditions offer hope and
healing in the world today.
THOUGHTS ON LOVE:
Have you ever seen love twinkle in someone's eyes?
How did it make you feel?
Reverend Laurie Sue's Current Column
Reverend Laurie Sue's Past Columns:
2002 - "When Someone You Love Pushes Your Buttons"
2002 - "When Life Has Your Down, Remember You Are
2002 - "Plan Valentine's Day Team Date"
2002 - "Do I Hear Him Knocking … From the Other
2001 - How Do We Make Our Love Dreams Come True?
2001 - "What is the Future of Love?"
2001 - "Getting to Know
the Goddess of Good Fortune"
2001 "Can’t Hurry Love… It Will Happen In its Right
2001 "Family Rituals Help Us Grow into Loving
2001 - "Dreams Warn It's Time to Own Your Own
2001 - "A Fun Visual of Your Perfect Romance"
2001 - "Someday Your Mystical Soul Mate Will
2001 - "Enjoy the Merriment and Fun of An Ancient
2001 - "Nourish Yourself on a Date for One"
2001 - "Get Ready for Soulful Love"
Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway is an author,
teacher and contemporary clergy person who specializes
in matters of the heart and soul. As an ordained
interfaith minister and non-denominational wedding
officiant, it is her honor to regularly marry couples in
Prior to becoming a minister she enjoyed a successful
and colorful 20 years in media as a widely published
journalist, editor and author of several books on
relationships and romance—as well as being a noted
spokesperson on those topics. She was editor-in-chief of
two national magazines and several regional
publications, and her articles have been published
around the world and in many newspapers and national
magazines, such as the NY Daily News, The
Washington Post, Women’s News, New Woman,
Ladies’ Home Journal and Child.
She evolved years of specialized reporting in the field
of male-female relationship dynamics into a more
spiritual pursuit that led her to train to be an
interfaith minister, and then establish her wedding
ministry along with a number of popular relationship
enhancement programs. Her wedding ministry is based in
She is also dedicated to bringing about a deeper
awareness and understanding of the Divine Feminine. As a
graduate of The New Seminary in NYC, the world’s
premier seminary for interfaith ministers, she was
educated and trained in the tenants, spiritual practice
and worship of many faiths. She became a specialist in
the feminine aspects of God in all the world’s
religions. Today, she is widely recognized as a
minister, teacher and scribe specializing in women’s
spirituality and The Divine Feminine from an interfaith
and all-inclusive perspective. She is on the
board of directors of World Light Fellowship, heading up
their Feminine Faces of God programs, and is
Founder of Our Mother’s House, a cyber ministry at www.OurMothersHouse.org.
Long devoted to helping women access the "Goddess Within," she is currently
working on two books that bring the wisdom of ancient archetypes to modern
women. Her newest book, A Goddess Is a Girl's Best Friend, is due out from
Perigee Books in December 2002.
To be placed on a mailing list for information
about A Goddess Is A Girl’s Best Friend: OurMothersHouse@aol.com