Some Day Your Mystical Soul Mate Will Come
Tony from Arizona asks, "How can I tell
when I’ve met my true spiritual match – i.e., my
soul mate." Cynthia from California asks, "How
can I be in the right place, at the right time, for
love?" Rosemarie from New York City wants to know,
"What soul mate theories do you believe in?"
I believe meeting our spiritual match often requires
a combination of consciousness and conscious effort,
making choices and allowing things to happen as they are
meant to be. In an effort to shed more light on the soul
mate questions so many soulful singles have, I will from
time to time offer the views of experts who have
important insights to share. During this merry month of
May, I share an interview I did with my friend Arielle
Ford, who brings good tidings about true love in her new
Chocolate For The Mystical Lover: 101 Stories of Soul
Mates Brought Together By Divine Intervention
(Plume, January 2001). This is the fourth book in
her popular Hot Chocolate For The Mystical Soul
Arielle, a top-selling author and successful
publicist, set out to find real-life, modern lovers who
felt they were brought together through the magical
hands of fate. Her book is filled with true accounts of
contemporary love, told through the words and
experiences of couples that consider themselves lifetime
soul mates. The cool part is Arielle is more than just
the storyteller—she's also a subject in the
book. She share’s her own spectacular tale of meeting
her soul mate and husband, Brian Hilliard.
Arielle’s personal soulful love story really is an
inspiration to us all, and is especially significant for
soulful singles who are consciously preparing themselves
for true love. She took a proactive and conscious
approach to meeting her soul mate, and yet she also
allowed fate to do its part. She's convinced that a
prayer and prophetic dreams set the stage to bring her
together with her beloved. It began one night when she
whispered her prayer for true love into the ear of her
spiritual teacher, Ammachi, and asked to be healed of
anything that might be standing in the way of love.
Soon, she had dreams that gave insights about the man
she would soon meet and fall in love with.
A few weeks later Arielle, then 44, was sent on
business to Portland, to work on a project that involved
Brian. Although they had never met, they had both had
dreams that told of finding each other. A year to the
day of whispering her prayer to the Divine Mother, they
were wed. Hot Chocolate For Mystical Lovers
features 100 more hopeful stories of how spirit can
bring mystical lovers together.
"Some prayed and found their prayers
answered," she explains. "Some had prophetic
dreams that led them to recognize their soul mates when
they finally met. Some swear that Guardian angels
helped. Some used Feng Shui and love altars, or were
aided by meditation and visualization. Some conducted
love rituals that they believe brought true love closer.
In every case, there was some form of what we consider
divine intervention and when the couple came together
they all felt something very important and profound had
happened, as if it were an act of God."
Rev. Laurie Sue: Did couples in the book share a
common thread, or experience one telltale sign that the
truest of loves had arrived?
Arielle Ford: There is almost always a
distinct moment when soul mates recognize each other.
Sometimes it's simple, mutual love at first sight. And
sometimes one or both parties hear a small, still voice
confirm: she's the one or this is the one your
will spend your life with."
RLS: Have you always believed in soul mates?
AF: Long before I knew what they were called,
I "knew" my soul mate was out there. My
grandmother always used to say, 'there's a lid for every
pot.' So I grew up with the image that just like there
is a perfect lid that fits snuggly on top of the pot,
that somewhere there was a person who was the perfect
fit for me. I think it was a pretty common thing for
Grandmother's to say! But it did instill an image in me
that the perfect person was out there, somewhere, and
that he was probably looking for me too.
RLS: How would you describe a soul mate?
AF: To me, a soul mate is somebody who is
really your mirror, your other half, the person who
makes you more whole than you already are, and who you
have karmic ties to from past lives and future lives.
When you see them there is just a spark between you that
lights you up and lights them up. And the world is a
better, happier place to be when you're with them. It's
not grounded in science. It's just my personal belief.
RLS: There are so many soul mate theories;
they may all be true. Do you have a personal favorite?
AF: I think there is more than one path to
your soul mate, but I highly agree with Deepak Chopra's
explanation. In the forward of my book he offers the
"spiritual mechanics" on this topic and he
says, essentially, that soul mates are beings that are
vibrating at the same frequency of consciousness and
evolving at the same rate. Since all souls come here to
work things out based on karma, soul mates work many of
their lessons out together.
RLS: Do you think we all have soul mates?
AF: I believe that there is, at the very
least, "one lid for every pot." For some
people, there are probably a number of potential soul
mates; for others, there is that one great karmic love.
Overall, I'd bet soul mates are together in more than
one lifetime, and yet they are not necessarily supposed
to be together in every lifetime.
RLS: Then again, not every soul-to-soul
relationship is destined to be a romance.
AF: Soul mates may come in non-romantic
varieties. They may come as a parent, a child or a pet.
I think JB, my cat, is definitely my soul mate. He kept
me company for a very long time before I met Brian. One
of my favorite stories in the book, "Mystical
Bluebirds," is about two cancer patients who find
one another at the end of their lives, in time to
experience solace and companionship. It is a beautiful
story that proves love is stronger than death and that a
soul connection doesn't have to be sexual to be
RLS: Did you have many love challenges to master
before true love found you?
AF: (Laughs) Many of them... like most
people... until I realized there is nothing any of us
can do to hurry a soul mate long. Soul mates have their
own schedule. I believe it is pre-ordained and
pre-arranged, long before we come into this physical
RLS: And yet ... soul mates would seem to
happen rather quickly. A reporter once asked Bette
Middler why she got married so quickly, knowing her
husband for only six weeks. She said 'yes, it happened
quickly... but those soul mate things always do."
Do you agree?
AF: I totally agree. Once you meet and you
hear that little voice in your head saying: "this
is the one," yes, it can "happen"
quickly. But I think it really just seems sudden. That's
because you have a visual, human recognition of a soul
who is so very familiar. But that recognition can only
come when both people a ready.
RLS: So it's love at first sight...
following a lot of personal growth and learning through
relationships that didn't work out?
AF: Yes. I believe there's timing involved.
You can't force it. You can't make it happen a moment
sooner than it's supposed to. For example: Years before
I met Brian I used to meditate in my living room every
evening, with candles burning, listening to nuns singing
chants. There was a week where everyday I would sit down
and I would actually feel my soul mate around me. I
would feel waves and waves of unconditional love around
me. And I knew he was nearby but I didn't know anything
more than that. But it was this very real experience.
About a year after Brian and I got married we discovered
that during the time that was happening he was living
down the street at a hotel on an extended business trip.
So he really was in the neighborhood... he really was
nearby. But this was not the time to meet. If we had met
at that point we wouldn't have recognized each other.
RLS: Even though you use the word
"mystical" to describe the stories in your
book, it seems that these are not experiences out of the
reach of the average person.
AF: A lot of people are having mystical
experiences everyday and they just don't see it as that.
They just call I coincidence. Or Chance. Or think of it
as being in the right place at the right time.
RLS: What do you say to people who feel
frustrated that they haven't yet met their soul mate?
AF: I say, "If I can do it, they can do
it." I didn't meet my soul mate until I was 44. I
consider myself the poster girl for later-in-life
marriage. You never know what's around the corner! The
whole point of the book is really to give people hope
that it can happen for them. No matter what their age,
no matter what their circumstances, no matter where they
are in life, or what's happened to them in the past. And
there are enough stories here to prove that ... at least
101 people have gone through it!