by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
Every month, the "Romance
Reverend" shares her sage insights on relationships
and getting ready for soulful love! Send your
questions to RomanceRev@SoulfulLiving.com.
Romance Reverend’s Picks For Healing Help for Dark
When Life Has Your Down, Remember You Are Loved
Dear Romance Reverend,
You often tell us that the only way to have a
relationship with someone else is to have a relationship
with ourselves first. What if you just can’t find
happiness in yourself or your life? What if life has got
your so down that you can’t even remember what it is
like to be happy, or what it is like to be loved? I
realize I am depressed, but I am depressed because I am
so disappointed with love and the way life has turned
out. I can’t imagine that in this state I could be
ready for a boyfriend, let alone, attract anyone to me.
How do I get out of this?
-- Tara, Philadelphia, PA
* * * *
Dear Tara –
You are named after a Goddess (the Tibetan mother
Goddess of compassion, power and protection) and I will
say a prayer that you find your way back to your sacred
self. What you are going through is a common theme these
days. I have gotten many e-mails like yours, telling of
feelings similar to those you describe. This seems to be
a time when many people are finding themselves facing
fears, disappointments, heartaches, despair, and
depression. Many people have so many issues coming up
for evaluation at once that it is overwhelming. At times
like this is often best to forget about "finding a
boyfriend" and focus on reconnecting with your own
First, you must take care of yourself medically,
emotionally, physically. See your doctor, find out if
there is a specific medical cause, and look into a
medically approved wellness program; evaluate exercise
and diet and make improvement in those areas. Studies
show that people who are feeling depressed exercise less
and often don’t pay attention to the kinds of food
they eat. So I suggest you include awareness and perhaps
a willingness to improve in those areas as a way of
helping yourself heal.
Then, you can take a deeper look into your spiritual
life and make some choices about how you want it to be.
If you can reclaim your spirit, you will reclaim your
connection to God, Goddess, All there is.
Remember that our divine parents are ALWAYS there for
us. In the course of life’s disappointment and
challenges, in the wake of loss and feeling lost, we
tend to forget that we are not alone. I share with you a
favorite reading. I often use this in memorial services
to remind loved ones that the person who has departed is
never really gone. But I believe that this is truly a
memo from God and Goddess, telling us we are divine
children, connected to the universal source of all that
is, if only we are willing to see that!
All my loved ones think I am far away,
I Am Always Right Beside You
but I am always right beside you.
I never leave you. Never!
Not even for a moment.
If you open your hearts,
you will be able to recognize me.
And you will know how much I love you.
The other thing that is very helpful at all times –
and especially when you are having a dark spell – is
prayer. Really, really pray -- and petition for healing,
help, and relief of your burdens. You just can’t pray
enough at a time like this. Talk out loud to the Divine
Source of All That Is. Our cosmic Mom and Dad are there
to help us. They are big enough to take all our burdens,
worries and concerns. Here’s a traditional religious
petition for healing that I revised to a
non-denominational prayer. Say it every morning and
every night for 30 days and watch your life change!
Prayer To The Creator Of All That Is
Lift burdens and allow for a happy, balanced, whole life
Glorious Creator filled with compassion for those
who invoke thee, and with love for those who suffer.
Heavily laden with the weight of my troubles, I cast
myself at thy feet and humbly beg of thee to take the
present affair which I recommend to thee under special
Please help me at the highest levels to resolve the
pain and heartache. Lay the difficulties of
transformation at the feet of your most resplendent
healers and helpers, so that they may bring all problems
and challenges to a happy resolve. Cease not to
intercede for me until my request is granted. Above all,
obtain for me the grace of being in the presence of your
greatness. I praise you, Great Creator, for all you
offer to your children and as one of your children I
accept my birthright to love, happiness, health,
well-being and financial affluence. Bring divinity to
all I am and do, and let me now live in the flow of your
great abundance as I serve thy will as a healer and one
who brings transformation to many. Restore my faith when
it fails me and elevate me to the right path of service,
relationship, love and livelihood. Empower me to good
health and wellness. Make me whole and bring me the
safety and opportunity to love with a whole and healthy
Creator of all that is, Mother and Father of divine
spirit and love, please help me heal and prosper and do
good works. Make me a great woman/man and bring me the
relationship, home, family and community life and
spiritual family that I yearn to be with.
I pray to thee, and all aspects of thy divinity, to
make me whole and help me help myself, my family, and
those on the path. Amen. And so it is.
We live in a time so wrought with confusion and fear
that many of us have lost touch with the fact that Love
is the source of all that is, and that we are all from
that same source. When you are feeling the darker nights
of the soul, it is so hard to remember what it is like
to love or be loved. Yet it is also our losing touch
with that remembrance of love that makes the darkness
evermore pervasive. Ultimately, our reconnection to the
Divine Source of All That Is leads us back to love. I
share this inspiration from Meditations With Teilhard
De Chardin (Bear &Co).
Love alone can unite living beings
so as to complete and fulfill them,
for it alone joins them by what is deepest in
All we need is to imagine our ability to love
developing until it embraces the totality of the people
of the earth.
--Teilhard De Chardin
Just take things a day at a time. Wake up tomorrow
and say: "On this day, I move forward." If you
are not yet there, try it a minute or an hour at a time.
It may take time and reflection, but you will begin to
work your way out of the darkness you feel. As the
Vernal Equinox and Easter approach, the energy on our
planet should also become a little lighter, as spring is
reborn once again and a sense of renewal is in the air.
One day, you will awake and see the light at the end of the
© Copyright Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway All Rights
Romance Reverend’s Picks For Healing Help for Dark
Get yourself a new doll! Just like in childhood,
nothing can cheer you like a beautiful doll. There is a
modern therapy protocol of giving stuffed animals and
bears to people suffering through grief and loss. I saw
this constantly while working as a volunteer chaplain
for the Red Cross doing disaster relief after 9-11.
There were bears donated to New York from the folks in
Oklahoma and from around the world, with notes of love
and healing prayers. The grieving families we so
comforted by this. I saw many adults holding onto bears
– not just kids.
For women who are stressed, feeling the strain of
life, experiencing heartbreak or suffering loss of any
kind, I recommend a new doll. Just as the bears are
comforting, a doll can cheer you and stimulate childhood
memories of feeling more playful as well as help you tap
into the love inside you. Remember how much you loved
your dolls as a little girl? Remembering that purity and
innocence could help you get back on track in life!
I went to the Toy Fair in New York in February to see
if I could find some fun items to write about and came
across this beautiful "Topsy Turvy" doll. She
is created by The North American Bear Company and called
the "Fancy Prancy Princess." On one side she
is dark-skinned and dressed in fancy orange and gold,
and if you flip over her dress she is blond with a blue
dress with sparkly ornaments in it. You can hold and hug
her, and she can change with your mood. I think she can
even change your mood because she can really lighten the
spirit. She costs around $32 and is available in
independent specialty and gift stores, or call (800)
682-3427. You are never too old for a new doll!
your way to lighter days: I recommend all books by
Debbie Ford. Her latest, Secret
of the Shadow: The Power of Owning Your Whole Story
(Harper San Francisco, December 2001) shows us how we
are held back in life by our "stories" -- the
collection of beliefs and attitudes that prevents us
from having all the love, happiness and success we
desire. She offers coaching and inspiration for
uncovering the stories that keep us stuck and for
breaking out of life-depleting patterns that block us
from the transformation we yearn for. For more
Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway All Rights
SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON LOVE:
What is one nice thing you can do for yourself today?
Reverend Laurie Sue's Current Column
Reverend Laurie Sue's Past Columns:
2002 - "Plan Valentine's Day Team Date"
2002 - "Do I Hear Him Knocking … From the Other
2001 - How Do We Make Our Love Dreams Come True?
2001 - "What is the Future of Love?"
2001 - "Getting to Know
the Goddess of Good Fortune"
2001 "Can’t Hurry Love… It Will Happen In its Right
2001 "Family Rituals Help Us Grow into Loving
2001 - "Dreams Warn It's Time to Own Your Own
2001 - "A Fun Visual of Your Perfect Romance"
2001 - "Someday Your Mystical Soul Mate Will
2001 - "Enjoy the Merriment and Fun of An Ancient
2001 - "Nourish Yourself on a Date for One"
2001 - "Get Ready for Soulful Love"
Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway is an author,
teacher and contemporary clergy person who specializes
in matters of the heart and soul. As an ordained
interfaith minister and non-denominational wedding
officiant, it is her honor to regularly marry couples in
Prior to becoming a minister she enjoyed a successful
and colorful 20 years in media as a widely published
journalist, editor and author of several books on
relationships and romance—as well as being a noted
spokesperson on those topics. She was editor-in-chief of
two national magazines and several regional
publications, and her articles have been published
around the world and in many newspapers and national
magazines, such as the NY Daily News, The
Washington Post, Women’s News, New Woman,
Ladies’ Home Journal and Child.
She evolved years of specialized reporting in the field
of male-female relationship dynamics into a more
spiritual pursuit that led her to train to be an
interfaith minister, and then establish her wedding
ministry along with a number of popular relationship
enhancement programs. Her wedding ministry is based in
She is also dedicated to bringing about a deeper
awareness and understanding of the Divine Feminine. As a
graduate of The New Seminary in NYC, the world’s
premier seminary for interfaith ministers, she was
educated and trained in the tenants, spiritual practice
and worship of many faiths. She became a specialist in
the feminine aspects of God in all the world’s
religions. Today, she is widely recognized as a
minister, teacher and scribe specializing in women’s
spirituality and The Divine Feminine from an interfaith
and all-inclusive perspective. She is on the
board of directors of World Light Fellowship, heading up
their Feminine Faces of God programs, and is
Founder of Our Mother’s House, a cyber ministry at www.OurMothersHouse.org.
Long devoted to helping women access the "Goddess Within," she is currently
working on two books that bring the wisdom of ancient archetypes to modern
women. Her newest book, A Goddess Is a Girl's Best Friend, is due out from
Perigee Books in December 2002.
To be placed on a mailing list for information
about A Goddess Is A Girl’s Best Friend: OurMothersHouse@aol.com