Embracing Change In Your Life
I once counseled a couple who was dissatisfied with their living arrangements, but for different reasons. They occupied a very small apartment together. The man was a packrat who loved to collect and hoard, but with little organization. His wife was the opposite – neat and fastidious, the type of person who constantly purged from her environment whatever she didn’t need. Both partners desperately wanted a larger home.
During ten years of environmental disharmony, they constantly struggled to find peace with their contrasting styles. But how each coped with the problem is instructive. The husband began to educate himself in the art of sorting and storing, looking for ways to adapt to the circumstances in which he found himself. His wife simply grew more frustrated with the limitations of their residence, never really seeking constructive change.
For five years, this collector read books, applied newfound knowledge, and began to acquire things which could actually better his situation. He began to collect designer storage boxes. He used his “problem” to solve his problem! Slowly but surely, he sorted, boxed and labeled everything he owned. His wife was not so industrious. She grew depressed and frustrated, miserable in a space too small for her needs. She actually became less efficient in her work, and suffered creatively.
Just when it seemed their happiness could not be further apart, circumstances changed. They were given a townhouse twice the size of their apartment. A solution to their problems, right? Well, yes and no. The man carted his organized boxes to their new home without breaking a sweat. As anyone who has moved knows, packing is half the battle. He merely pointed to his designer boxes and told the movers where to put what.
It was not so easy for his wife, the “purger.” Though she had fewer things, she had to go through every single possession, stored and hidden, misplaced and forgotten, and was still doing so when the movers arrived. She considered herself the organized one, but things had changed right under her noses.
Who would have suspected the packrat would enjoy such a smooth transition while his fastidious partner suffered such a difficult one? As Sam Cooke sang, “A change is gonna come.” The question is. what tune will you be singing when it arrives? When the movers show up, will you be packed and ready or waiting around, complaining? Change is gonna come, whether you’re ready or not. What are you doing to prepare?
Since change is inevitable, it should not be feared. That’s like being scared of the sunrise. What you need to focus on is how to make each new day work for you. Every moment of every day brings a change from the moment before. How will you embrace change to fulfill your dreams? What are you doing to prepare for your own satisfaction?
Change is here, change is constant, your dreams are being fulfilled, right under your nose. What are you doing to prepare for that which you have already received? Where are you going to put the piano? How are you going to sort your belongings? In what order will you organize your new closet?
The fastidious woman had prayed for a larger home for so many years, but she was completely unprepared when her dream came true.
After receiving an astrological reading the other day, I heard myself saying, “Yep! That sounds like me!” The reading said, in part, “There is an aspect related to death, destruction and sudden change coming up, but alongside it many other positive, harmonious influences exist.”
Just like the couple in the small apartment, there always exists the potential of the positive and the negative. It’s how we decide to approach the change which comes our way that will make all the difference in the pursuit of our dreams.
And as hard as we work for those dreams, we’re never separate from the whole of life. No matter what path we choose, we’re connected to the entire web of existence. We can push, pull, and struggle, or even ignore it, but when the chips are down, change is gonna come.
We can swim with the current or fight against it, but in the end we are all in the same boat. The packrat and the neatnik should have worked together, could have worked together, because they both had much to learn from the other.
Another aspect of change is support. The universe, in ways we don’t always allow ourselves to see, supports us in kind with our clearest intentions. My meditation teacher used to say it supports us where we stand, not where we want to go. The most direct path is not always the one right in front of us, but rather the one where we receive the greatest amount of support.
The shortest distance between two points is not necessarily the straightest, but the one with the most support.
The couple in that tiny apartment both had means of support available, but which one used it to their best advantage?
Open your mind to how you define support, for the most significant, undeniable, steadfast, unlimited resource is your belief in yourself. For some, it lies in their passion, for others, in their safety, and for others still, in their connections to deep bodily sensations. Find where support enters your life and it will show you the way.
Change is coming.
Believe in yourself.
It’s up to you to use change to your best advantage!
© Copyright 2009 KD Farris, Ph.D.. All Rights Reserved.
Read KD's Past Columns:
Spring 2009 - "Oneness"
Summer-Fall 2008 - "Celebration: If You Want to Learn Stillness—Watch a Rock"
Winter-Spring 2008 - "Personal Power, Strength and Empowerment"
Summer 2006 - "In a Call to Courage"
Oct-Dec 2005 - "Pausing For Breath At The Threshold of Consciousness"
Jan-Mar 2005 - "Tuning In - Turning Within"
Oct-Dec 2004 - "Experiencing Loss as a Gain"
Aug-Sept 2004 "Sometimes to Move Forward, We Have to Go Back"
June-July 2004 "Soulful Practice: Spiritual Practice--Soulful Nature"
Jan-Feb 2004 - "Making Our Dreams Come True Is Living A Truthful Life"
December 2003 - "Graceful Living - Confessions of a Professional Speaker"
October 2003 - "Serenity: As Calm, As Clear
May 2003 - "What are Your Needs?"
April 2003 - "Techniques for Clearing the Space for Communication" - Part II of II
February 2003 - "HESHE & Clearing the Space for Communication" - Part I of II
January 2003 - "Body & Soulful Living"
November 2002 - "Getting Into MESHE with Your Home Through Minor Adjustments"
October 2002 - "Being in MESHE with Clearing Clutter"
September 2002 - "Discover Going on Retreat"
July 2002 - "Build Your MESHE - Seek the Space: A Process for Reclaiming the Shadow"
June 2002 - Revisiting: "The MESHE Concept - A Path to Soulful Living"
May 2002 - "Bodywork 101"
March 2002 - "Being Present Within Your Prosperous Life"
February 2002 - "HESHE and The Third Bird"
December 2001 - "Manifesting Your Perfect Partner with Personal Truthz"
November 2001 - "Remembering What We Already Know"
September 2001 - "Be Led By What You Are Trying to Avoid"
August 2001 - "Draw Your Way to Clarity, Health & Balance"
June 2001 - "Tending to the Negative Mind"
May 2001 - "Gentle Conscious Living"
April 2001 - "MISON and The Moment"
March 2001 - "The MESHE Concept - A Path to Soulful Living"
KD Farris, Ph.D. is a successful counselor, healer, and bodyworker. For more than twenty years she has taught
extensive workshops based on MESHE, HESHE, MISON & ORBIT as well as many other self-discovery topics.
KD began developing her integrated bodywork and counseling techniques in 1983 under the tutelage of many prominent doctors and healers throughout the United States.
Her education into the spiritual and physical aspects of the human experience served as the foundation for her private practice and the development of a new philosophy. She combined her techniques into four guiding principles, which she shares in her book, MESHE, HESHE,
MISON & ORBIT: What My Grandmother Taught Me About the Universe. She teaches a companion workshop series, where she creates an interactive environment demonstrating the material from her book with tangible, life altering effects. In these workshops, individuals discover a
deepening of their relationship to self, others, and life itself.
Through individual counseling and group workshops, she has taught her results-oriented programs to many different types of people including those confined to mental institutions, substance and food abusers, and generally, people in life transitions, struggling with intimate
relationships, or who lack direction in their lives. Visit www.kdfarris.com.
KD is currently touring a new body of work, Talking About People in Transition, Also Known As
Liminal Space. She will be writing about liminality and its relevance to day-to-day living in upcoming issues of Soulful Living. For more information on this new and exciting topic, or to learn about more her private practice, workshops and lectures, visit
Contact KD at: info@MESHE.com