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Each month,
Karen
offers her
spiritual insights for
"being present"
in all aspects of life, by calling upon the techniques
of her
four guiding principles,
MESHE, HESHE, MISON & ORBIT.
Experiencing Loss As Gain
(With a Side Dish of Grief, Because Life Is What It Is)
Things
When I was a young child and began to lose my
baby teeth, my new teeth always grew in before the baby
ones had fallen out. In thinking about letting go this
month, I have not been able to shake this image. It
reminds me that I have always experienced loss with some
kind of gain. And when my teeth had finally let go and
fallen out--or as was often the case, when I was sent to
the dentist and had them pulled--I would take the
precious tooth, place it under my pillow and wait for
the Tooth Fairy to take it away. The Tooth Fairy would
always leave a gift in its place, and the cycle of
newness sprouting (my new teeth coming through), the old
falling away (the baby teeth finally coming out), and a
transformation taking place (the tooth turning into a
gift), was born.
In the early nineteen eighties, I drafted a book
entitled Losing Weight, Gaining Health. The cover
art showed the words "Losing Weight" in block
lettering crossed out, and "Gaining Health"
written over them in a cursive style. Here again, the
idea of bringing something in of a higher vibration
helps to allow what is old and unwanted to fall away.
The transformation that follows, as I discuss it in the
book, is the wellness of released energy, the freedom of
an agile body, and the surprises that follow when we
take responsibility for our own well-being.
When I shop, I have a rule that what I bring home
must also inspire completion with other items I possess.
Whether I pay them forward, throw them away, or sell
them at a flea market--for every new item I bring into
the house, at least one thing has to go. With clothing
I'm likely to empty a whole drawer in response to
something new and wonderful. Once I brought home a
coat--a properly fitted, well-made, warm wool peacoat--and
tossed four other wannabes in response. I let go of an
old jacket lining, a coat whose sleeves were too short,
an oversized man's sweater, and a suede fringe number
with tapestry shoulders left over from the eighties that
I thought I would never part with.
Sometimes when we have to let go, it's about turning
our imagination forward and reaching for the dream we
dream instead of the past we hold onto. With diet,
household items, personal items, if needing to let go is
a struggle, setting your eye on exactly what you want
and bringing it into your life will create a sharp
enough contrast for you to experience clearly what is
the "old" you and what is the "new."
And with these exchanges of thought and spirit, of
things and stuff, the transformation awaiting us always
follows. For me, with new clothing, the better my
clothing fits, the more practically and beautifully I
dress myself, the more supported I feel at my core.
Deeper Issues
With internal transitions the structure can be
similar, though the process more challenging. Picture a
woman being rescued from a burning pit. Watch her as she
grabs hold of the hero's hand and is lifted out of the
consuming flames. What is it you imagine she is focusing
on while being pulled from the raging inferno? Is it the
flames engulfing her feet and legs? Or the strong hand
pulling her to safety?
Maybe you can only feel the flames of letting go right
now. If so, what shifts in focus might help you to begin
to sense the strong hand that is pulling you forward
into your prosperous life? What newness can you turn
toward? What needs that are close to your heart can you
begin to address? What can you do to raise your
awareness so that what you want and what you love can
surround and comfort you?
Grief
Losses live wildly within us. What I mean by wildly is that life, naturally, organically, true to its nature and wild in its unpredictability, does express as life itself
regardless of what we do or how we interact with it. And so, as life, its mystery is a part of every
transition and every meeting with this powerful force.
Entering into our own mystery means embracing the
wildness in the truth of our specific lives. How grief
comes and when grief comes cannot be predicted. All we
know for certain is that in letting go, grief is
necessary and so it will come--our salvation lies in
meeting it with presence, grace, and gratitude.
Grief is both a chemical and alchemical
process--meaning it is biologically as well as
psychologically and spiritually transforming. Grief,
crying, emotions of all kind, express chemical needs
that serve the body, inspiring repair and restoration.
Until we allow grief into our heart and soul, we are not
fully released into the present moment. With a full and
complete experience of the past, we are naturally
prepared to move into the present and the wondrous
unknown of our lives. Until and unless we have been
fully present with the loss transformations impose upon
us, we are not fully delivered into all of who we are.
For every loss there is a grieving; and in every grieving there waits a new beginning.
These new
beginnings may be felt, intuited, but at other times and
even the majority of times, they may be completely
hidden and utterly elusive. In the grief, there is no
going forward. There is only falling away. And in this
place, the sense of something waiting may be as far from
perception as the other side of the moon is to our eyes.
In these times, faith and trust in your relationship
with yourself (MESHE) and with life itself (MISON) may
be all you can find. In the depths of grief--the worst
of the worst of it--you may experience a complete and
utter breakdown of all you know. Yet resting there, even
in the fear of nothingness, will eventually--and
naturally--deliver you to something-ness.
Falling into falling can be its own transformational
experience--where what you gain is so deep, so
expressive of your essence that you may never know
anything as clearly again.
So, when dealing with grief, expect the emptiness.
Understand that the gain you might expect from loss is
hiding in the pain, and trust life (MISON) to be present
with you even if you cannot experience its presence at
the time. When the clouds part, and the birds begin to
chirp again, the night that preceded the beautiful
morning takes on new meaning. The transformation lets us
know that something was lost and something was gained.
The light in your eyes, the cleansing of your soul, the
gratitude in your heart, lets you know that it was worth
it.
In sensing grief's offering, we may feel into the
gain. But where the wild takes us under and consumes our every breath, no gain is felt-we are subsumed into the pain and the experience of
letting go.
© Copyright 2005 Karen Deborah
Farris. All Rights Reserved.

Read
Karen's Past Columns:
Aug-Sept
2004 "Sometimes to Move Forward, We Have to Go
Back"
June-July
2004 "Soulful Practice: Spiritual Practice--Soulful
Nature"
Jan-Feb
2004 - "Making Our Dreams Come True Is Living A Truthful Life"
December
2003 - "Graceful Living - Confessions of a
Professional Speaker"
October
2003 - "Serenity: As Calm, As Clear
May
2003 - "What are Your Needs?"
April
2003 - "Techniques for Clearing the Space for Communication" - Part
II of II
February
2003 - "HESHE & Clearing the Space for Communication" - Part
I of II
January
2003 - "Body & Soulful Living"
November
2002 - "Getting Into MESHE with Your Home Through
Minor Adjustments"
October
2002 - "Being in MESHE with Clearing Clutter"
September
2002 - "Discover Going on Retreat"
July
2002 - "Build Your MESHE - Seek the Space: A Process for
Reclaiming the Shadow"
June
2002 - Revisiting: "The MESHE Concept - A Path to Soulful
Living"
May
2002 - "Bodywork 101"
March
2002 - "Being Present Within Your Prosperous
Life"
February
2002 - "HESHE and The Third Bird"
December
2001 - "Manifesting Your Perfect Partner with
Personal Truthz"
November
2001 - "Remembering What We Already Know"
September
2001 - "Be Led By What You Are Trying to
Avoid"
August
2001 - "Draw Your Way to Clarity, Health &
Balance"
June
2001 - "Tending to the Negative Mind"
May
2001 - "Gentle Conscious Living"
April
2001 - "MISON and The Moment"
March
2001 - "The MESHE Concept - A Path to Soulful
Living"

Karen Deborah Farris is a successful counselor, healer, and bodyworker. For more than fifteen years she has taught extensive workshops based on MESHE, HESHE, MISON & ORBIT as well as many other self-discovery topics.
Farris began developing her integrated bodywork and counseling techniques in 1984 under the tutelage of many prominent doctors and healers throughout the United States.
Her education into the spiritual and physical aspects of the human experience served as the foundation for her own private practice and the development of a new philosophy. She combined her techniques into four guiding principles, which she shares in her book,
MESHE, HESHE, MISON & ORBIT: What My Grandmother Taught Me About the Universe. She is currently touring with a companion workshop series, where she creates an interactive environment demonstrating the material from her book with tangible, life altering effects. In these workshops, individuals discover a deepening of their relationship to self, others and the world around them.
Through individual counseling and group workshops, she has taught her results-oriented programs to many different types of people
including those confined to mental institutions, substance and food abusers, and generally, people in life transitions, struggling with intimate relationships, or who lack direction in their lives. Karen lives happily with her husband in Southern California.
Visit www.MESHE.com.
For more
information, contact Karen at: info@MESHE.com
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