Soulful Love
June 2001

Try on the "State" of Summer Love… Just For Fun!

A warm, insidious ache blossomed slowly inside her.
She heard herself moan with soft pleasure and delight,
as Blake’s Hand gently stroked her flesh.
Beneath his palms she felt herself fill with desire.
~From Runaway Love

I remember when I first read that passage from a romance novel, I wondered: Who is this Blake character and is he available for a summer share (of my body) for July and August? The year was 1984, and I had penciled in only one appointment for two hot and breezy months… Summer Love.

Some seventeen years later, I am thinkin’ … that’s what is missing from the lives of us soulful, adult women. We take love so seriously… we work so hard to get it right. What would happen if we could get into that old summer love consciousness and toss our cares, old broken hearts and most of our relationship expectations to the wind? We’d be liberated … and free to love without attachment or expectation.

The idea is Summer Love, in its truest essence, is a very Buddhist thing – no attachments, and full acceptance that it will end, sometime. Along the way we make it point to have as much fun, excitement, new experiences, passion and joy we can. We don’t worry about the consequences and we have no expectations of the outcome. Traditionally, with Summer Love we are not imagining who we’ll invite to the wedding by the third date – unlike, admit it, the non-summer soul mate season when a third date inspires thoughts of "this could be it!"

For all you girls at heart, I suggest a break from seriousness, and a fling with lighthearted love. When you take the charge off finding the perfect love, and are willing to indulge in a little carefree romance, you will be surprised how much easier it may be to see love and relationships in a new light that supports your long term goals.

I asked some friends to remember Summer Love. Most of them remembered it as being that magical summer fling in camp, in a resort community, or during the last vacation they took with their parents. Back then, daring was French kissing beneath the moonlight, and staying out past midnight without permission. But there is no law that says we responsible, grown up soulful females can’t have our own adult version of summer love.

Just consider it Advanced Summer Love, and consider yourself duly entitled to as much passion, romance and fun as you can muster. "The whole point is to be caught up in the romance and the heat of the moment, and to be spontaneous," recalls my friend Charlotte, for whom Summer Love was a prerequisite to college. "There are a lot of spur of the moment adventures. You don’t mind if he shows up unexpectedly at midnight – you love it. At any other time, if a guy shows up without calling, you break up with him for being invasive! In fact, you don’t mind anything he does. Time is short and nit-picking and trying to transform him into the perfect man is just not an issue."

Imagine what could happen to our love lives if we approached them from this Summer Love perspective: We’d be in a state of surrender, which would make it a little easier for True Love to find us. In winter, our potential soul mates have to battle the winter bulge of the armor covering our hearts, and slay the dragon of our mindsets that says perfect love must look, behave and feel a certain way. In the state of Summer Love, we are lighter and airier!

Here are some guidelines for Advanced Summer Love

1. Pencil in ROMANCE in big red letters across your calendar for July and August. This will be your first symbolic gesture to the universe that "yes, I am getting that loving feeling and I am opening to my Summer Love."

2. Get into "summer love consciousness" and include it as part of your spiritual practice. Meditate, pray, visualize, and daydream about hot and passionate summer days with an oh-so-special Summer Lover.

3. Be spontaneous and gain some mastery over your issues about control and surrender. Learn to go with the flow.

4. Use this list of the qualities of your ideal summer love and read it every day for the next thirty days; add in your own. By the time July rolls around, true summer love will be getting closer!

• Glances at you in a way that makes you feel you are the only two human beings on the planet.
• Communicates passion and appreciation with stunning force.
• Can dissolve all your concerns and worries, as well as inspire the ole’ "insidious ache" with just one kiss.
• Is a breath-taking hunk of handsomeness and sexiness in your eyes, with a body and manner that makes you want to surrender to love.
• Has a master’s degree in sexual healing, Tantra and the art of love.
• Is so passionate, romantic and alluring that even if your favorite movie star called for a date, you wouldn’t leave your Summer Love?
• For an entire summer he is yours – body, mind and spirit – and your are his, and you revel in your own vulnerability and willingness.
• You have frequent out of body experiences in his presence.
• You really like him a lot
• He will say, more than once, "You are the most beautiful (sexy, gorgeous, etc.) woman I have ever seen," "I love the your spirit (soul, who you are, etc.)," "Let’s do it somewhere different tonight!"

Remember, it may seem like a summer fling, but Summer Love Consciousness is actually an educational experience. True, you many learn new things about the human anatomy – on beaches and in beautiful natural areas – but you will also learn how to lighten up about love and expectations. Summer Love Consciousness is a state of mind you can enter any time… your soul mate will ultimately be ever so happy to meet you there, in the land of carefree abandon, where love can speak for itself and have a chance to grow.

Everyone has a favorite summer love story. what is yours?

Everyone has a favorite summer love story. What is yours?