Ark of Love:
on Valentine's Day
by Diana and Richard Daffner
JOIN NOW FOR FREE!
Centuries ago, Noah built an ark that allowed couples
to survive the destruction of the world. We can still
turn toward relationship as a refuge from the tumult and
stress of today.
A love relationship is considered the most primary of
human alliances. Within each of us is a ‘homing device’
that seeks a partner, yearns for intimate joining with
the soul of another human being. Finding a love-partner
may seem a daunting task, yet day after day, couples
continue to say "I do, ' publicly announcing
their intention to love one another ‘forever.’
Nearly half of them abandon the effort long before
‘forever’ has been reached. Staying aboard the ark
seems to be even more challenging than embarking in the
So why do we keep trying, why do so many of us
continue to walk down the aisle?
Because it is in the arms of a beloved partner that
we can most truly embrace ourselves. The kiss of the
beloved awakens within us a felt experience of life’s
vibrating spirit. The deep happiness within us is most
easily revealed through the eyes of our beloved. The
touch of a lover’s hand lets us know that our
existence matters. We thrive and blossom when we love
and are loved. Our inner spirit pushes us toward one
another, seeking its own recognition.
While the reasons for marriage may no longer be
economic security or social standing, there are still
many rewards of relationship with a "significant
other." There is someone to play with, to parent
with, to share in the activities and decision making of
daily life. Someone who cares, who is concerned when we
are ill, someone to turn to in an emergency, someone to
call when, like on 9/11, our world falls apart. And on
the other side, someone for us to be involved with, to
care for, to be concerned about. Scientific studies
confirm that committed relationships are good for our
Yet most of all, it is the promise of deep intimacy,
both sexual and spiritual, that draws us onto the ark.
Without the enduring primacy of this passionate union,
many relationships flounder and break down. Our ‘homing
device’ predisposes us to recognize the authentic
presence of love, beyond the trappings of an otherwise
supportive relationship. When this profound connection
is present, a relationship can survive the bumps and
detours that appear along the way. The ark proves itself
in stormy weather. But without authentic presence, we
lose our faith. The ‘homing device’ signal weakens
and our attachment to the relationship – and one
another - loosens. We notice that we have ceased to
bloom. We begin to disembark, separately.
So the challenge is to learn how to maintain the
intensity and joy of an intimate bond with a significant
other, even the same person we have lived with for
years! The good news is that being authentically present
for such union is within our reach. When we drop our
masks, and center ourselves in our own beingness, we
open to an ongoing internal presence of love. It is only
this experience, this organic reality, that will satisfy
our questing ‘homing device’. And it is hidden right
inside us all the time! Our partner is the catalyst,
awakening us to the breath of our own deep spirit and
mirroring back to us the energy of love.
There is an empowering sense of self when we discover
the love that lives within us. And when this experience
is shared erotically and spiritually with our partner,
we create a sacred sanctuary for our ongoing conscious
journey through life. Getting aboard the ark is just the
© Copyright 2002
Diana and Richard Daffner. All Rights Reserved.
Diana Daffner, with
her husband Richard, leads "Intimacy Retreats"
for couples and provides coaching in sexual intimacy as
a spiritual path. The Daffners originated the Tantra Tai
Chi™ program, a partnered movement practice to enhance
intimacy in body, heart and soul. For a schedule of
workshops, visit www.IntimacyRetreats.com
or call 1-877-282-4244 (tollfree). Email: tantra@IntimacyRetreats.com.
TO "FEATURES" PAGE