Home Articles Channels Daily Retreat Inspiration Classroom Boutique Community Singles Resources Contact

SoulfulLiving.com :: Personal Growth, Spiritual Growth, Self Help and Self Improvement

Your #1 Online Resource for Personal and Spiritual Growth Since 2000.
Mandala and Chakra Pendants
New Age Gifts and Products, Buddhist and Tibetan Jewelry, Meditation and Yoga Supplies
Mandala Art Prints



Our Sponsors:

The Mandala Collection :: Buddhist and Conscious Living Gifts
Inspirational Gifts

Energy Muse Jewelry
Energy Muse Jewelry

Body of Grace
Eco-Friendly Gifts

Yoga Download
Yoga Download

The Mandala Collection
Give a Gift with Soul

Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks

The Spoon Dance
A Breathing Ritual for Lovers
by Gay Hendricks, Ph.D. & Kathlyn Hendricks, Ph.D.

Here is a beautiful and simple way to enhance your harmony and sexual energy by tuning in to the breathing-rhythms of you and your partner.

Light a few candles, put on some soft music, and let the incredible power of breath take you as far as you want to go.

Conscious Breathing by Gay Hendricks


Lie down front-to-back like two spoons.

Take a few moments to get comfortable. Find out which parts of you like to be touching and which like to be free.

When you’re comfortable and relaxed in contact with each other, close your eyes and listen to each other’s breathing for a few moments. Listen to the sounds of breathing—its depths and rhythms, its ebb and flow. Focus on the sounds of your breathing for a minute or two.

After a couple of minutes, shift your attention to another aspect of awareness. Instead of listening with your ears, use your sense of feeling. Tune in to the places where your bodies are touching. Feel the rhythms of your breathing and your partner’s breathing. Feel the breath come and go from your bodies as you relax together front to back. Focus on the feeling of breathing for a couple of minutes.

When you’re ready to move deeper, shift to a slightly different type of awareness. The partner in front takes a longer, slower breath in, then lets it go with a big relaxed sigh. The partner in back listens and feels the partner’s big breath go in and out, then "answers" with a long, slow in-breath and big relaxed sigh on the out-breath. Let the partner in front be the leader for now. The front-partner initiates the pace, the partner in back matches the other’s breathing.

After a couple of minutes, change roles. The partner in back initiates, the front-partner follows. The back-partner takes a long, slow, relaxed in-breath, then lets it go with a big, long "Aaaaaaaahhhhhh" on the out-breath. The front-partner listens and feels the rhythm, and matches it with his or her own breathing. Let the back-partner lead for a couple of minutes.

The Conscious Heart by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks

After the back-partner has led for a couple of minutes, let go of the follow-the-leader approach. Continue the same sequence—long slow in-breath followed by a long sigh of pleasure on the out-breath—but now let your breath and intuition guide you. Play with the rhythms of your breathing, speeding up and slowing down as you please. Discover new places to feel the movements of your partner’s breathing as it flows in and out. For example, you might rest your attention on the place where the front of one partner’s knees touch the back of the other partner’s knees. Feel the sensation of the skin-contact shift subtly as the breath comes and goes. Few of us probably spend much time exploring the backs of our knees, but we (and many of our clients) have discovered that this area is surprisingly sensitive to touch.

As you progress along through this exercise, let your breathing become more gentle and your sigh of letting-go become more subtle. Find any places in your body that you’re holding on to tension. For example, you might discover that it’s a challenge for you to let go completely in your belly or your thighs or your shoulders. When you discover those tight places, devote a few breaths to that area. Breathe in the direction of the area, then let the tension go as you relax into a long sigh of release.

Enjoy the process as long as you like, then let it evolve into lovemaking or a good shared rest.

© 2003 The Hendricks Institute.  All Rights Reserved. Adapted from BREATHING ECSTASY by Kathlyn and Gay Hendricks, recently published by Three Rivers Press.

Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks
Gay Hendricks and his wife, Kathlyn, are the authors of CONSCIOUS LOVING, THE CONSCIOUS HEART and other relationship books. Together they direct The Hendricks Institute and its Center for Conscious Relationship in Santa Barbara. The Hendricks Institute - 800-688-0772. www.hendricks.com

Conscious Loving by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks              Conscious Living by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks              Learning to Love Yourself by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks


Learn more about Conscious Living at:



Daily Soul Retreat at SoulfulLiving.com
Soul Retreat Goodies!

Support SoulfulLiving.com
Show Us Your Love ♥


Energy Muse Jewelry
Energy Muse Jewelry

Wild Divine Meditation Software featuring Deepak Chopra
Meditation Software

Energy Muse - Sacred Yoga Jewelry

Copyright © 1999-2014 Soulful Living®.

Soulful Website Design by The Creative Soul®.