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Do you desire to live a balanced
life?
We all do, I guess, but just what
does it mean?
Most of the time when we think of
balance we think of putting something into the pan of a
scale to offset the weight of something in the other
pan. As in going to the market, establishing that sort
of balance in life can be a tricky thing. If one pan
has had a lot of frenetic and busy activity around it,
let us say, what amount of that side of the scale can we
clear out and what can we put into the other pan to
balance it? How much time for reading, for relaxation,
for meditation, for physical activity, for watching our
nutrition, for gardening or whatever will offset the
demands of our busy lives? It’s hard to know. I think
that one of the reasons we have so much trouble
achieving a balanced life is that we tend to think of it
in terms of taking bits and pieces out and putting bits
and pieces in.
Another image for achieving balance
is the game many of us played when we were kids and we
tried to get a set of dominoes to balance without
everything toppling. That, too, is sometimes an
approach we use for achieving balance in our lives. We
may be fortunate enough to clear the decks and start all
over, maybe thanks to a good vacation, sabbatical or
retreat, or by the sheer power of will. We get the
pieces of our lives all arranged and it looks as though
we have finally reached the balance point we wanted.
Ten minutes back after vacation, we find ourselves
wondering if we were ever away. All the mail, all the
demands that awaited our return, are there before us now
and we are left scratching our heads as we find
ourselves succumbing to the old rat race. Like the
dominoes in our game, we find ourselves scattered in
pieces once the pressures of life return to us.
What happened, we wonder?
We need to change our ideas about
balance. Balance in life is not about piecing things
together in the hope that they (and we) will hold and
not collapse under the weight of the pieces. Rather
it’s about working with, shall we say, the law of
spiritual gravity to let it do the work it is intended
to do. For what we are talking about when we turn our
thoughts to balance in life is a spiritual law of
gravity, the force or energy that gives us center and
focus. Another way of describing that spiritual law of
gravity is “the soul.” Though we tend to think
otherwise, the soul – the spiritual law of gravity – is
intended to work naturally to draw together with beauty
and grace the various elements that are meant to be in
our lives. When we try to do its work for it, we
actually interfere with its natural work.
In my book Good News for Bad
Days I wrote a chapter entitled “You Are
Attractive,” in which I reflected that, if we permit it
to do its work, the soul is like a magnet drawing to us
easily and effortlessly exactly what we need in each and
every situation. Indeed, there can be soulfulness in
each and every situation we encounter, even the ones
that appear to throw us off balance. Perhaps the
illness of a close friend or family member has us
feeling scattered, overwhelmed and scared. Even if the
medical diagnosis turns out well, aftercare can be
difficult and exhausting, especially if the patient is
cranky or in pain or frightened as well. Can this be
soulful? Can balance be restored?
If we permit the soul to guide us,
the answer to both questions is a resounding “Yes.” In
such a strenuous situation, that may seem like an
impossibility, but the trick is to look behind the
pieces of our lives and to find the law or rule that can
teach us how to hold things together. We must, in other
words, begin by challenging the “wisdom” of the outer
appearances and instead remember and affirm that there
is a spiritual law of gravity that can – indeed must –
work in us to achieve harmony. We must befriend the
soul and allow it to do its natural work of befriending
us.
What, in the practical realm, does
that mean? For one thing, it means being observant of
inner and outer signs of guidance. Once I was assisting
in the aftercare of a friend who was recovering from
complicated surgery. It was not an easy time, and I
felt totally at a loss as to what to do. The thought
came to me, “You must take care of the caregiver.” That
one bit of inner guidance helped me to better understand
what I needed to do. It led me to the realization that
I did not have to do it all, that I was not responsible
for every aspect of my friend’s care or comfort, that
there were certain things that I could do better than
others and that I could ask for guidance in doing more
of those than the ones I did not do so well. Using that
thought as a guidepost, I found opportunities for
prayer, entertainment and refreshment naturally finding
their way to me. I’m not saying it made the situation
perfect, but it made it – and my responses to it –
infinitely better. Others appeared who were willing to
help, and the patience of the patient improved daily as
physical health began to return. That one thought
seemed to be just the thing I needed in order to
mobilize the other things I could use so that my balance
could be restored. I know for certain that I could not
have achieved that on my own, and that I needed the
spiritual law of gravity to take over and to do what it
does best. In addition, that period of time became one
of tremendous spiritual insight for me in dealing with
some aspects of my life that were troubling me at the
time. The patient was healed, and in a very real sense
so was I.
The simplest way to tap into the
spiritual law of gravity is to do three things. First,
acknowledge that, despite what outer appearances and
well-meaning acquaintances say, it is there. Second,
watch for guidance from within and without. Third,
follow that guidance – meaning, be mindful of it, watch
it do its magnetic work and respond accordingly.
The soul – the spiritual law of
gravity – is ever at work. We need not work it or make
it work. What we need to do in order to find balance in
our lives is rather to affirm it and to watch it do its
work on our behalf.
© Copyright 2005 Father Paul Keenan. All Rights Reserved.
Read Father Paul Keenan's Past
Columns:
April-June 2005 -
"Spiritual Spring Cleaning"
Father Paul A. Keenan,
a priest of the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of New York,
is its Director of Radio Ministry in the Office of
Communications. He served as co-anchor and consultant
for the broadcasts of ABC News Radio for its coverage of
the death and funeral of Pope John Paul II and the
election and installation of Pope Benedict XVI. He
co-hosts “Religion on the Line,” a weekly news/talk
program on WABC Radio in New York City (airtime 7:00 –
10:00 a.m. ET Sundays and available live on
www.wabcradio.com.) He is a
regular columnist for Catholic New York and for
SoulfulLiving.com and serves as a parish priest in New
York City. He is the author of the books Good News
for Bad Days, Stages of the Soul and
Heartstorming, all of which are available through
this website. He hosts his own site at
www.fatherpaul.com.
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