A friend of mine named Eva, who manages a Buddhist retreat center in the mountains of Switzerland, has a yellow sticky hanging above her mouse pad as a reminder. It says: “Let go or get dragged.” That about sums it up for me.

I have been thinking a lot lately about acceptance, and how it actually changes things. For example: have you ever noticed how hard it is to change your mate, while a little more acceptance goes a long way towards transforming your relationship? Ultimately, I can change myself; that is about as far as it goes, although the ripple effect definitely filters further outwards. In a deeper sense, transforming myself transforms the world. That is why Buddha said: “When I was enlightened, all were enlightened, even the rocks and the trees.”

Acceptance has its own transformative magic. Letting go means letting be. Cultivating this panaceic inner virtue has helped me become far more patient, tolerant, empathic and open-minded. And lord knows, we could use a little more of that in this violent, strife-torn world!

The Buddhist PeaceMaster Shantideva said, long ago: “Anger is the greatest evil. Patient forbearance is the hardest practice.”

Patient forbearance is the third transcendental virtue and transformative power (“paramita”) of the Bodhisattva, the peaceful spiritual warrior. Cultivating inner discipline and integrity raises our standard for living and brings purpose and meaning to our lives. Facing our difficulties with courage and fortitude can bring us spiritual satisfaction and riches beyond measure. This is a time in our history to become sacred warriors for peace, not warmongers or mere worriers. Anger and fear are the roots of violence, as we know.

The Buddhist philosopher Nagarjuna said: “Contentment is the greatest form of wealth.” Contentment should never be confused with complacence and indifference. There are various types of wealth in this world, but let me assure you that cultivating equanimity, spiritual detachment and heartfelt acceptance brings an inexhaustible wealth of contentment. Incessant craving and greed knows no end, like drinking salt water in a misguided attempt to alleviate thirst. Cultivating contentment and gratitude helps us appreciate what is given rather than focusing on what may be missing or imagined.

Radical acceptance implies unconditional friendliness, the kind of openness and love that allows us to meet life as it is; which never throws anyone out of our hearts, even if we don’t like what they may think, say or do...

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© Copyright Lama Surya Das. This article was originally published at our website, SoulfulLiving.com, in October 2004, as part of Soulful Living's "Letting Go" Issue.

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