25 Resolutions for Happiness:
What I’ve Learned...So Far
by Molly Stranahan, Psy.D.
 At some stress-filled moment, have you had the experience of realizing you had forgotten what you learned in the past, the self-knowledge that healed and brought joy or just got you through a tough time? The anniversary theme of Life Lessons created an excuse to write down the lessons I have learned, but sometimes forget to use. I’m pledging to renew my commitment to living them, and offer them in the hopes they might help you, or they might inspire you to remember your greatest life lessons.
Even though I’m a psychologist, I’ve learned more of life’s lessons through personal experience than through my formal education. Many of my lessons have come from hearing (or reading) the transformational moments of others — their own life lessons — which they were generous enough to share. And the most important lessons I’ve learned are those that have led me out of pain and into happiness.
And so, dear reader, may you find some message below which leads you to a new belief or understanding, releases you from some burden, or takes you to an even higher level of happiness. In keeping with this hopeful season, I’ve put the life lessons I’ve learned...so far...in the form of these New Year’s resolutions to remind myself daily that I know how to be happy, despite the challenges life puts in my path. I will be even happier if some of them increase your happiness.
I will make happiness a worthy goal, for achieving it is entirely within my power. Our nation’s founding fathers declared the pursuit of happiness to be an important and inalienable right. I choose to use it as a primary measure of my success in life. I believe I will die peacefully if I can say I have lived a happy life and helped others to do the same. Achieving both goals is well within my grasp because, as Abraham Lincoln noted, “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” So all I have to do is help people change their minds. It isn’t what
happens to us that determines how happy we are, it’s what and how we think about what happens to us. Some people call it attitude. Whatever name you give it, it’s the key to happiness.
I will use my feelings to tell me when things aren’t working for me. When I‘m angry, sad, upset, afraid, frustrated, or irritated, when any of those “unpleasant” feelings come over me, I will recognize them as signals that something needs to be changed, so I can regain my happy state. I will use them as cues to examine the situation at hand, particularly my thoughts and beliefs about what is happening to me. I will look at how I am
interpreting what is happening, what thoughts are leading to my hurt or anxious or angry feelings. Some have described the process as watching themselves experience the feeling, and then looking for the thoughts behind the emotion...
>>> Continue Reading "25 Resolutions for Happiness"©
Copyright Molly Stranahan. This article was originally
published at our website, SoulfulLiving.com, in January
2006, as part of Soulful Living's "Life Lessons" Issue.
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