The Art of Romance
by Judith Sherven & James Sniechowski
 What one thing do you most want to know about love and relationship?
Recently we surveyed approximately 10,000 men and women asking that question. Ninety-five percent of those responding wanted to know how to keep romance alive throughout a relationship and marriage. No surprise. During our fifteen years working with singles and couples it's been romance that has been the most desired as well as the most illusive of all relationship experiences. More than sex. More than good communication. More than family.
But what is romance?
That's not a question with an easy answer. It's the kind of thing that you know when you see it, and certainly yearn for it when it's absent, but putting it into words leaves most people tongue-tied. So, before we can know how to keep it alive in our relationships, we need to identify just what it is we are after.
CONNECTEDNESS
When we experience romance we experience a quality of being transported, of being moved by an extraordinary moment of feeling, almost another dimension of feeling. And it is not by thought but by feeling that we can confidently say, "This is romance." Through this special feeling we are extended beyond our everyday sense of self into an experience of unity and wholeness, a deep, spiritually rich connectedness with another person, and through that person to the wonder that is the whole of life. The separateness that is so much a part of most people's daily life vanishes, even if only for a moment. And that is what is so extra-ordinary about romance. It may be fleeting but it leaves a mark on our senses and in our memory and it can stay with us for days if not years. No wonder romance is so desired.
Also, in the romantic moment we feel connected with another person without ever losing our sense of self. There is a profound oneness but not sameness, as the unique differences that two people bring to the moment are embraced...
>>> Click to Continue Reading "The Art of Romance" ©
Copyright Judith Sherven, Ph.D. & James Sniechowski, Ph.D. This article was originally
published at our website, SoulfulLiving.com, in February 2003, as part of Soulful Living's "Romance Rituals" Issue.
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