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Graceful Living: How
Shall We Live?
by Rev. Sandra Lee Schubert
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In late October and early November
holiday catalogs begin packing mailboxes across the
country. On the cover is a golden turkey; the well
decorated Christmas tree filling the large and warmly
lit living room. Young red cheeked models frolic in
their new clothes on large plots of manicured earth next
to scrumptious homes with expensive cars parked out in
front. I could buy that new coffeemaker for Aunt Sue
that also slices, dices, and carves the golden turkey
featured on the catalog cover. Delivered right to the
mailbox is the perfect image of how one could live.
Television provides yet another view of the possible
perfect life. My next-door neighbors will happily redo
my tired old bedroom if I redo theirs. Domestic
goddesses, some tarnished, whip up scrumptious meals,
and make party favors out the bottoms of Styrofoam cups.
They speak softly while calmly lulling me into believing
I could whip up a soufflé while sewing a new duvet
cover for my comforter. Sitting at my computer, I have
laundry to do and there is ancient layer of dust on most
of my furniture. I am sure there are people in the world
that could handle all with ease. Me? I am not one of
them. I stumble through my day requiring a good two
hours of morning time to get successfully out of the
apartment. Outside I pause for a moment to take
inventory. Shoes on? Did I wear a slip? Are my glasses
on my face? One time I was sitting on the subway my legs
outstretched casually in front of me when I noticed I
had on one blue sock and one black sock. I looked around
defiantly as if to say, Yeah, I meant do that! Well, not
really but you know the eyes are not what they used to
be. However, here I am writing an article on graceful
living, hopefully I will discover I am a swan. I want
clear direction - maybe a guidepost stating - this
way to graceful living and a cheery arrow pointing
towards the right place.
What is graceful living?
Is it the image presented to us; the great house,
good clothes and happy well adjusted kids? Is it a
personality type? I think of the Dalai Lama as graceful.
Then is it a spiritual thing? Do we receive grace like
manna from heaven? Hurling myself through pedestrian
traffic in Times Square, NY, I wonder how one can live
gracefully here. There is constant noise, bright lights
and multitudes of folks taking snapshots and buying the
requisite New York trinket to take home. Nearby, I work
for a church that was there before the city surrounded
it. You can attend service, sit and pray, meditate, read
- or just watch the color of the church change as the
light shifts through the Rose window. When I walk
through the church on some important task I must pause
and breathe - it smells of layers of incense - the wood
and stone have absorbed it. If silence has a scent then
surely this is it. The light, the smell and the quiet
just fill me with peace. I think, "Then this must
grace."
Is it possible to live gracefully in a big city?
Reverend Jeffrey Golliher is the Program Director for
the Environment and Sustainable Development at the
Office of the Anglican Observer at the United Nations,
as well as new Rector for a parish in upstate New York.
He has this to say, "It may be that living in the
city complicates the movement towards gracefulness
unnecessarily, in the spiritual sense of
"grace." I don't think people who live apart
from cities are any more filled with spirit/grace."
He goes on to say, "yet, the wilderness and the
monastic settings have always been in quieter places,
where the soul can vibrate on a level closer to where
the spirit within is ‘groaning in travail... waiting
for adoption’ as Saint Paul put it, or simply,
constantly praying within. Whether in the city or
countryside -- it requires real time alone, soul and
spirit searching."
How shall we live?
Joan D. Chittister in the December issue of Spiritual
and Health Magazine asks this question, how shall we
live? Chittister refers to a state of apathy that can
permeate a society faced with life’s challenges. We
give up and become complacent. The most important thing
is not to stop feeling; it is to feel all the more
deeply - relying not just on outside sources but also on
inner reserves. The question that is before us is; how
shall we live? We can be distracted and disaffected. On
the other hand, we can be attentive and alive. Either
way is the choice we are free to make. Those who embody
graceful living - live with clear attention and focus,
full with great compassion and kindness. They seem to
draw from a wellspring of deep and abiding love. It is
the kind of unquenchable love we can only hope to drink
from on the rare occasion. Dr. Stephen Post, founder and
director of The Institute For Research on Unlimited
Love, says in the latest issue of Science and Spirit
Magazine, "The secret to bringing more love into
your life is giving more love, doing small things with
great kindness." He goes on to tell us to begin
simply – by being attentive, listening and being kind
as just a few small steps we can take. Dr. Post decodes
love in the following short list:
- Love can be transmitted,
- Love enriches those who give as well as receive,
- At its best, love is both effective and wise,
- All spiritual transformation of value is in the
direction of love,
- Religion is only as good as the extent to which it
enhances love for a common humanity, generous,
altruistic behavior goes with the grain of human nature
and not against it,
- The starting place for a life of greater love is
right in front of you,
- Love is not just being nice, it is actually hard
work, and must sometimes run the risk of confrontation
with evil,
- Love is the most essential aspect of being human and
is our ultimate salvation,
- In the giving of self lies the unsought-for
discovery of self.
At the end of the day as we leaf through our holiday
catalogs we must decide for ourselves what is graceful
living. I suggest as a way of setting a course for the
New Year to evaluate what beliefs you hold about the
"good life". Have those beliefs supported and
enriched you? If not, then take some time and write down
what has value for you. Ask hard questions about your
life. Have you become complacent? Do live with
intention? Do you feel burdened with things? Conversely,
do you have enough? Do you hunger for more and feel less
then deserving? The first person to treat with kindness
and compassion is your self. I am not yet a swan and the
guidepost I seek is still hidden yet I know the choice
of how I should live is mine. Begin simply, as Mother
Theresa has stated and Dr. Post echoes "Do small
things with great kindness."
Spirituality & Health Magazine: www.SpiritualityHealth.com
December 2003 issue.
Science & Spirit Magazine: www.science-spirit.org
September-December 2003 issue.
© Copyright 2003
Rev. Sandra Lee Schubert. All Rights
Reserved.
Rev. Sandra Lee Schubert is
an interfaith minister, poet and founder of Wild Woman
Ministries, a forum to explore and express creativity
and spirituality. She leads workshops on meditation,
creative writing and how to develop a positive
spirituality and facilitates a popular writing program
called the Wild Angels at the historic Cathedral of St.
John the Divine. The Wild Angels produce an
anthology of their work as well as host an annual
reading. Sign up for her newsletter, by emailing: earthandskynews@wildwomanministries.org,
or visit: www.wildwomanministries.org.
212-642-5042
Look for her online course, Writing
for Life: Creating a Story of Your Own, at www.selfhealingexpressions.com/courses.shtml
and the launch of Wild Woman Network in January 2004.
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