Healing Through Your Relationships
by Laura Grace
We are offered no greater opening to
know the truth of who we truly are than in relationship.
Relationships are such powerful catalysts because they
mirror the aspects we most need revealed for our
soul-growth. What we see and react to in another, we
possess within ourselves. Thus both the fear and love we
see on anotherís face is the reflection of both our
own humanness and divinity. Even during the most
challenging times our soul is able to thrive since our
encounters with others are our greatest opportunities
Our relationships flourish when we are willing to
show up and be fully present. Too often, we allow
ourselves to divert onto other things when weíre
around the people we love the most. How often, after
many years of being together, do people simply grow
apart? While counseling couples, Iíve witnessed a
common theme where the woman has attended to the home
and children and the man has focused on earning a
living, only to discover that when retirement rolls
around, they no longer know each other!
When our relationships become stale and predictable,
itís either because we are not honoring them for the
temples of healing that they are, or weíre not delving
inward toward our own soul where our passion runs deep.
This reminds me of a conversation I had with a woman who
was complaining that her life was lacking in pizzazz.
"The 1960ís was a period with a lot more
excitement. The peace marches were really something.
Todayís demonstrations are boring in comparison,"
Yes, the 60ís were a time of much upheaval. There
was a lot of trail blazing occurring which was necessary
to get us where we are today. Revolutionary
thinking was key during that time, but evolutionary
thinking is required today. And thatís a good thing.
While there was much being done on the outer planes
during the 60ís, there is much being created on the
inner planes today. We now understand the staggering
power of our thoughts, which for many, has led to an
entirely new way of being, and living.
So, perhaps this person was feeling bored within her relationships including the relationship with herself. Not because thereís less excitement in the air, but simply because she was playing it safe and not stretching beyond her comfort zones.
withdrawalóthese kinds of fears prevents us from
extending and receiving love. And in truth, they only
cause us to reject and abandon ourselves. The
only real pain we will ever feel stems from withholding
our love. In reality, all love already resides within
us. And since we have an infinite wellspring from which
to give, how could we ever truly
be without love? This reminds me of a beautiful quote I
once read from an anonymous source that affirmed,
"You can never lose by loving; you can only lose by
Notice your relationships, especially
those with people youíre closest to. Are you seeing
them as precious vehicles for growth? Are the people in
your life a priority or do you allow diversions to keep
you from connecting with them? This includes your family
and "family" is any group of people that has
joined together out of mutual respect and support of one
When we donít allow
ourselves to connect on a heart level with another itís
because weíre afraid of love. Amazing isnít it? Here
we are beings of love underneath all of our
"stuff," yet love is the very thing that
scares us the most. The belief that love is limited and
conditional is what keeps us from connecting deeply with
each other. This reminds me of a beautiful passage that
Robert Perry, the founder of the Circle of Atonement
based upon the principles of A Course in Miracles,
"Because I believe love has limits, I
have come to be afraid of it: afraid it will be
withdrawn, afraid of its conditions, afraid that what
seems to be love is only a tease, a tantalizing promise
that threatens to disappear if I misbehave. That fear,
that constant anxiety over love's potential for
disappearance is the source of my lack of joy. How can I
be joyful, even when things are "good," if
love may be withdrawn at any moment? This is the error
of our minds we are practicing to uncover, bring to the
light, and let go of. Right now, in this moment, I am
encircled by His embrace. Right now, without a single
thing changing, the Love of God radiates to me without
limit and without reservation or question. To know this
is happiness, and it is this I seek today."
The heartfelt wisdom of these words is a powerful
reminder for each of us. Love is eternal; we need not
fear losing the love of another. Love is within us, itís
what we are and nothing will ever change that fact.
There is no mistake you have made or error so great that
could alter the truth. Dare to go beyond your fear and
embrace the love available to you with all of your heart
and soul. The power of love is staggering; it has the
ability to heal addictions, cure disease, transform past
pain into present happiness, and dramatically shift the
situation that exists within the world today. Love is
the glue that holds our universe together and is the
reason we exist. Never underestimate its potency or
presence. Itís inside of you, itís inside of me, itís
© Copyright 2003
Laura Grace. All Rights Reserved.
Read Laura's Past Columns:
2003 Column - "Are You Going with the Flow?"
2003 Column - "Living the Soulful Life"
2002 Column - "The Power to Change"
2002 Column - "Peace Begins at Home"
Column - "Spiraling to Higher Ground"
September 2002 Column - "Cradled in Nature's
August 2002 Column - "Recovering
Laura Grace is Co-founder of Infinite Wisdom, an organization dedicated to the highest human capacity, and a national author and speaker. As a regular contributor for publications across the U.S. and Canada, Laura writes about human awareness and spiritual growth. Laura is the author of the widely acclaimed books The Intimate Soul and Gifts of the Soul, and the creator and teacher of various programs including the Self-Mastery Program, The Art of Compassionate Forgiveness, Wonderful Women: Reclaiming Our Power, Passion and Purpose, and Cultivating the Intimate Life. Please visit Laura's web site at:
As a spiritual counselor, Laura provides assistance in person and by phone. You may contact her for a free brochure at: