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Gratitude
and Generosity are Indivisible
by M.J. Ryan |
"As I express my gratitude, I become more aware
of it. And the greater my awareness, the greater my need
to express it. What happens here is a spiraling ascent,
a process of growth in ever-expanding circles around a
steady center." ~Brother David Steindl-Rast
Years ago, my friend Grace got
into a financial jam. She had bought a one-bedroom condo
in the boom years of the eighties, and watched as the
market for condos dropped like a rock. Then she was
transferred to another state and couldn’t get rid of
it because she owed more on the mortgage than she could
sell it for. She couldn’t just walk away from it
because the bank would come after the house she and her
husband managed to buy despite the condo. So she rents
it out, but the huge mortgage continues to be an
albatross around her neck. Over the years, those who are
close to Grace, including her friend Molly, have heard
her express anxiety about the condo, especially whenever
a tenant leaves.
One day recently, Molly called
up Grace and told her that she and her husband had just
made a killing when his Internet company went public,
and she was going to give Grace the money to pay off the
mortgage on the condo. Grace was overwhelmed. "You
can’t do that," she said. "It’s so much
money." And Molly replied, "I feel so grateful
that my life has been so blessed. I just want to spread
some of the blessings around. I’ve heard you complain
about that condo for years. It would be give me great
joy to alleviate that burden on you." Grace kept
demurring, but Molly persisted, and finally Grace
accepted. As a consequence, Molly got to feel the
delicious sensation of giving a huge gift to someone she
loved.
And Grace? Not only was she
relieved of the burden of the condo, but she got to
experience a sense of gratitude that spread in all its
magnificence into all aspects of her life. Speaking to
me about it the other day, she said, "You know, I
have been blessed with truly generous friends all my
life. Molly ended up giving me more than I needed to pay
off the loan. What I would really like to do now is to
use the rest of the money to help my in-laws get out of
debt."
Both Molly and Grace have
entered the ever-expanding circle of open-heartedness
that comes from the interplay of generosity and
gratitude. It doesn’t matter where you enter the
circle—in gratitude or with generosity. But the more
you experience one, the more the other enhances your
life as well. You feel grateful, which is the experience
of fullness, and from that fullness you offer someone
else something—an encouraging word, a helping hand—and
receive something in return love—the feeling of
connection, a sense of satisfaction or fulfillment that
in turn fuels your feeling of gratitude for the gifts of
life you have received.
Few of us will ever be as
extravagant in our giving as Molly, but that doesn’t
matter. The beautiful circle that giving and
thankfulness traces occurs no matter the size or form of
the gift.
May you find myriad ways to
enter the circle, particularly during this holiday
season.
~M.J. Ryan
© Copyright M.J.
Ryan. All Rights Reserved. Adapted from
"The Giving Heart." Published by Conari
Press.
M.J. Ryan is the founder and former CEO of Conari
Press, one of the most successful independent book
publishing houses in the U.S. Recently she joined
Professional Thinking Partners ( www.PTPinc.org)
where she specializes in thinking partnerships with
senior level executives, entrepreneurs, and other
professionals on issues of work-life balance, creativity
and innovation, life purpose, renewal processes,
values-based business development, and effective
organizational strategies. The author of the
best-selling Attitudes of Gratitude and one of
the creators of the best-selling Random Acts of
Kindness series, she is also the author of 365
Health and Happiness Boosters and the compiler of A
Grateful Heart: Daily Blessings for the Evening Meal
from Buddha to the Beatles. She is the co-founder of
the Worldwide Women’s Web and editor of the
award-winning book The Fabric of the Future: Women
Visionaries Illuminate the Path of Tomorrow. A
member of the International Coaching Federation and a
regular columnist for Living In Balance and The
Works magazines, she is a popular speaker on what
she is calling the modern virtues: kindness, gratitude,
generosity and simplicity. Articles on her work has
appeared in over 1000 publications, including USA
Today and McCall's, among many other
publications.
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