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Find
Your Real Self with Bedtime Rituals
by Jon Robertson |
Our most life-changing experiences take
place in the bedroom. Many of us are born there. We cry
there, make love there, pray there, and some even die
there. The bedroom is home to our prayers and dreams,
our solitude and sexuality. In this inner sanctum, where
secrets and spirituality merge, we shed the masks we
wear in our public lives and every night become whole
again.
Stop and think of the bedroom’s
awesome power. Whatever occurs during a busy day, we
ultimately return to the bedroom after we leave in the
morning. This quiet curtained chamber, with its bed,
dressers, and closets, is where we release a breath at
day’s end, change into soft clothes, or go completely
naked without a care. For many of us, the bedroom is our
stress-free zone of solitude and relaxation.
We share our love in the bedroom and
create life itself there with our bodies and our hearts.
So intimate, private, and personal is the bedroom, it is
the perfect place to reconnect with your soul through
personal rituals and celebrations that you can create
yourself.
There is a link between what we do in
this mystical, powerful space and the harmony or
disharmony in our lives. If we rediscover the bedroom
through its hidden symbolism, we can begin to heal much
of our confusion about life, love, and personal
identity. Discovering the potential of the sacred in our
bedrooms can help us in every other aspect of our lives.
To use your bedroom for personal
rituals and celebrations, begin by arranging the room
simply, using the principles of feng shui, if you wish.
Next, bring into the room symbols for what you hold
sacred: emblems of your spirituality, religious images,
figures, or Scriptures that you hold dear. Find a
dresser top or small table on which to display them, and
let this be your altar — a special setting for your
sacred objects.
With your sacred objects displayed,
next create new daily habits for practicing a more
sacred life through ritual. Rituals help us fully live
what we believe in our hearts by creating the outward
evidence for what we think. Without the visible
demonstration, there is only the idea, however noble it
may be. Like enthusiasm, ideas can fade in time, but the
use of ritual can keep the spirit of the idea fresh in
our minds. In simple terms, a ritual is a prescribed
ceremony repeated for a specific intention, using
meaningful words, actions, and objects that symbolize
concepts, teachings, or events.
Rituals are part of our daily lives
whether we realize it or not, and not all of them are
religious. We practice rituals getting ready for work in
the morning, preparing for a date, or before stepping up
to the plate during a baseball game. Many of us practice
rituals before going to bed at night. Using rituals in
our lives makes us feel good. They connect life in the
outer world to the testing ground of meaning in the
heart. Rituals and ceremonies, in fact, help us become
better acquainted with our authentic self, the spiritual
self that returns when we practice them. They add the
practice to what we preach.
The best bedroom ceremonies are the
ones you create yourself for your particular needs and
situation. They need not follow strict rules but can
follow some general guidelines. Above all, they should
be meaningful to you. Your bedroom rituals can be simple
or elaborate, and you may personalize them with any of
the following traditions:
- Wear a piece of clothing that has
some meaningful color or design. (This can be as simple
as a scarf or neckpiece, a special shirt, or robe.)
- Sit before your altar during your
ritual. (This symbolizes presenting yourself to the
Highest Power. Sit in a chair, or on the floor in the
yogic lotus position or on a sturdy pillow made for
meditation.)
- Say a few words to declare a ritual’s
purpose, such as, "We join together in this ritual
to consecrate our sacred bedroom." Use any prayer,
affirmation, or blessing that has special meaning for
you.
- Light a candle. (Light symbolizes
consciousness, understanding, and awareness.)
- Ring a bell. (The pure tone of a bell
clears the mental and emotional space and attunes you to
the frequency of higher consciousness.)
- Take three slow deep breaths (Breath
makes you one with the rhythm of the universe. Breath
breathes Spirit in, discord out.)
- Meditate. (A moment of meditation
before your ritual helps you focus on the intended
purpose of the ritual.)
Be creative in designing your rituals
and be aware of purpose. Here is a ritual that partners
can use in the privacy of the bedroom:
Honoring Each Other: Couples
can create quality time together by periodically
formalizing their respect for one another through
ritual. There is no better place to do this than in the
bedroom — the single most powerful symbol of your
partnership. In such a ritual, couples can write into
the service as many elements of their relationship that
they wish.
For this ritual, be seated in front of
the altar and face each other. Raise your hands and
place your palms together. Look into each other’s
eyes. Ring the bell after each statement is read or
recited.
Together: "I sit before the
throne of I AM THAT I AM to honor the divine Image
within my partner and myself."
Place your hands on your knees or fold
them on your lap. You may read a passage from scripture,
a vow, or a prayer of gratitude. It may be a statement
of conviction about your relationship in the future, or
a restating of your marriage vows. You may express
gratitude for an accomplishment or some milestone
reached. Use this model for an honoring ceremony of your
own design:
Partner #1: "I honor you, [name],
for the divine image within you and in the name of true
love by which I care for you."
Partner #2: "I honor you, [name],
for the divine image within you and in the name of true
love by which I care for you."
Now, meditate for a moment more on the
meaning of these statements and then both of you read or
recite:
Together: "We commit our love,
time, energy, and resources to the success of our
relationship, in accomplishing our mutual goals, keeping
our household holy, and our bedroom sacred, for the
greater outpouring of love to all every day."
As your personal refuge within the
house, you can use the sacred bedroom to experiment with
rituals that can help deepen your spiritual practice,
explore the masculine and feminine energies within you,
or simply add a sacred dimension to romance. With the
right attitude, you can keep yourself in the light of
spiritual awareness in the bedroom: and then use what
you practice there to thrive in modern life.
The following ideas for rituals and
celebrations can be used by anyone, with or without a
partner. They can help you deepen the connection to your
soul in a sacred bedroom environment.
Schedule regular rituals in which you
honor the Divine within you. If you share your bedroom
with a partner, you can modify the rituals to include
that partner by sharing the activities and prayers. For
example, let one partner light the candles and ring the
bell while the other reads the prayers or favorite
passages. You may also read prayers in unison. Then take
turns leading the rituals.
Entering the Bedroom:
Adopt a simple ritual for entering or leaving the
bedroom in order to formalize your higher purpose for
entering there. Place some small sacred symbol on the
door or doorframe — Jews use mezuzahs, which contain
prayers from the Bible — and make a habit of touching
it to remind you of the sacred setting you have created
in your bedroom. In that moment, recite a simple prayer
such as:
"I enter this sanctuary for
healing and peace. I shall bring no disharmony
here."
Consecration of Objects:
Each time you add a new object to the altar or elsewhere
in the bedroom, celebrate and consecrate that item. For
example, when you purchase new linens, why not light a
candle and claim them as part of your experience in the
bedroom?
I consecrate this [linen, candle,
etc.] to be part of the sacred purpose of my bedroom.
Adapt the affirmation above for use
with all new objects, such as art, photographs,
statuary, anything at all that brings honor to the
sacred bedroom.
Meditation:
Meditation and prayer are the "please and thank
you" of our communication with the Creative Force,
and there is no more ideal setting than the bedroom.
Prayer is asking and offering, while meditation is
listening for the answers. Meditation helps you discover
a quiet space within you that you can cultivate with
practice and visit whenever you need to truly rest your
mind, recharge your energy, or touch base with your
genuine self. From that stillpoint within your
consciousness, you can more wisely judge what is going
on around you and what to do about it. At the close of
meditation, express your gratitude for this time and
place apart from the hassles of the world with another
affirmation or expression of how you feel. Officially
close your meditation session by ringing the bell and
extinguishing the candle.
With practice, the peaceful center you
achieve during meditation can accompany you throughout
the day, or, at least, stay within reach with brief
meditations during the day. While you are at work, take
time in your office, outside, or even in the washroom,
if necessary, to keep "in touch" with your
authentic self, the one you practice in the bedroom. If
possible, keep some small reminder of what you hold
sacred on your desk or near your workspace. Remember
that regular meditation can reduce stress and its
effects on your mind and body.
Prayer:
People pray in many different ways the world over.
Unless your beliefs specify some singular practice, you
can explore these rich traditions of prayer. The idea is
to find for yourself a practice that keeps the spirit of
prayer fresh and genuine. The simplest act of prayer, if
it constitutes repetition of words or is framed within a
set of customs, is already ritualized. You can establish
a prayer ritual for yourself that is brief or lengthy,
depending upon your purpose. You can repeat prewritten
prayers, as is done in the Catholic rosary, Buddhist
chanting, and many other religions. However, remember to
include a moment in which you talk to God the way you
would talk to a trusted friend — just use words that
express what is in your heart.
Going to Sleep:
One thinks of the holy life lived by monks and how they
are taught to live each moment of their lives
prayerfully. Of course, most of us do not live in an
environment conducive to such concentrated dedication.
However, we can mark certain touchstones during the day
for little practices that remind us of our innate divine
origin and selfhood. In this way, we can keep closer to
the image of God within us. Bedtime is one of those
touchstones. It is an excellent opportunity to ritually
end your day and ease your transition into sleep.
A number of well-known prayers for
going to sleep have comforted children for centuries. As
adults, we are assured that our souls will indeed keep
until morning. Bedtime is an excellent time to
commemorate gratitude for the completion of the day.
Upon Waking:
Our mornings are filled with rituals from throwing open
the curtains to brushing your teeth. We do not
consciously attribute higher meaning to these rituals,
but they serve to orient us from the realm of sleep to
the beginning of our day out there in the world.
Instituting even a brief intentional ritual in the
morning, however, helps start the day according to the
principles you hold dear.
Before you dress in the morning, sit
before your altar, light a candle, and intone the bell.
As the sound diminishes, bow to the Source of All,
vibrating in your heart as in the heart of the universe,
and dedicate your day as follows:
"This day I seek the door of
Wisdom, so I may make choices that benefit the good of
all."
Now begin your day, fresh from the
sacred chamber of your bedroom, your very destination
when day is done.
Bedtime Stories.
Many people have used reading to relax before sleep. In
this ritual, make it a point to read aloud before you go
to sleep. Partners may alternate on different nights or
during each session. Read some uplifting or inspiring
passage or poem. If you are without a partner, read
aloud to yourself with flair and meaning.
* * *
The more you use your bedroom space
for spiritual practice, the benefits begin to mount. You
become an active participant in the spiritual universe,
draw closer to the divine within you, and truly be in
touch with the Creator every night and morning. You can
discover the Divine within you by practicing these
rituals and celebrations in your personal sanctuary —
your bedroom.
This article is adapted
from The Sacred Bedroom by Jon Robertson and used
by permission © 2001, New World Library, Novato,
California, www.newworldlibrary.com.
Jon Robertson is a
writer, editor, journalist, and speaker who has spent
a lifetime studying religion, philosophy, and Eastern
thought. He is author of The Sacred Bedroom, co-author
of The Sacred Kitchen, and author of The
Golden Thread of Oneness. A produced playwright
and lyricist, Jon lives and works in Virginia Beach,
Virginia. He invites you to visit his Web site at www.jonrobertson.com.
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