an Authentic Life
by Kay Nuyens
Living authentically is a journey of remembrance,
acknowledging that we are powerful spiritual beings,
co-creators with the Universe. To remember this truth,
we need to move away from our mind’s incessant
chatter, and move directly into our hearts. This is the
quiet space of our true essence, our knowing. Aligning
our heart with the heart of God allows us to be in touch
with our spirit. Each day we can request to see
ourselves as God sees us, in all of our perfection,
without judgment or expectations. We are no ordinary
beings. We are powerful spirits destined to remember our
greatness, our Divine connection. It is time to remove
the blocks. It is time to remember.
When we are living our truth, we act on the guidance
that we receive, even if our ego begins to question that
guidance. Recently I attended a workshop in another
state. I arrived early and looked forward to checking
into a hotel to relax before the workshop. Suddenly I
just knew that I was not to get a hotel room; I would be
invited to stay with another participant in the
workshop. I experienced some resistance to the idea,
since the workshop would end late in the evening and I
didn’t want to be searching for a hotel at that hour.
I let go of my ‘monkey-mind’ and allowed myself to
move into trust. A kind family invited me to stay with
them. To condense the story, staying with this family
brought up a feeling of shame in me, a feeling I had not
consciously been in touch with prior to this visit. As I meditated
on the shame that came up for me, I discovered it went
back to my two-year-old self. It was a wonderful, yet
painful opportunity to learn a significant lesson. I was
in awe of the power of this co-created lesson and how
everything and everyone had to fall into place for this
lesson to occur. Our wise self chooses the lessons we
need to learn to remember the truth of who we are;
lessons are wake-up calls for us. Trusting our guidance
is essential. We are always under direct inspiration.
What we need to know will be revealed to us in the
Living authentically means that we continue our path
regardless of the opinions and beliefs of others. Some
of my friends drifted away as I pursued a journey that
was not considered mainstream. My husband and I have
been happily married for more that thirty years. But Tom
is an engineer, relying much on the scientific proof of
the Universe, and his perception of things is much
different than mine. In the past I attended many
spiritual growth workshops and witnessed couples sharing
the same beliefs. I would visibly cry, feeling so alone,
and wanting Tom to join me in my metaphysical journey.
Then I realized that loving him meant accepting him just
as he was, without judgment. He allowed me to have my
beliefs, and even supported me in my personal, spiritual
growth. He loved me unconditionally, and I realized that
I needed to offer him that same kind of love instead of
trying to change him. I know that Tom and I were meant
to be together. Now I believe that we set it up this way
as a test for me to take responsibility for myself. We
were young when we married, and he was the extrovert. I
looked to him for strength. We are both authentic
beings, expressing Spirit in our own unique ways.
Relationships are our earthly assignments for mutual
growth. Tom and I bring out the best in each other! The
Course of Miracles states that the ego seeks intimacy
through control and guilt. Holy Spirit seeks intimacy
through acceptance and release. Today I can allow him to
be who he needs to be without judgment or expectations.
I can pursue my truth passionately, with or without
approval of others.
Replacing fear with love allows us to replace the
darkness with Light. I know that I am into my ego when
fear comes up for me. It is my wounded child. Miracles
happen for us when the ego steps aside and allows love
to be present. Tom recently acquired a new job about
seventy minutes away from our home. We are considering a
move. The adult part of me was so excited, as I was
ready for a change. I wanted a new highway to travel!
Yet, through introspection, I found that my little child
felt threatened and afraid. It was the third grade
child, the shy one, who once had a challenging move and
transition. This child part just needed love and
assurance that this move would not create chaos in her
life. With love, compassion and understanding, the fear
Fear is said to be just false evidence appearing
real. We can choose to see the world as a safe
space, focusing on what we want, or we can choose to
live in a world that is dark and dangerous for us. It is
our own perception that creates our world. How powerful
we are to be able to create our own reality! With every
thought we think, we create and recreate our world. I
choose to see the world as one of beauty, harmony and
abundance of all good things. It is our perception of
ourselves that determines who we are in the world, so it
is important to clear any blocks that prevent us from
being the Light. We must consistently choose love over
fear in transforming our inner world. Otherwise we live in
an illusion and become victims of the world.
Forgiveness is essential in an authentic life. I have
never had much difficulty forgiving others because I
realize that everyone is my teacher. Sometimes these
teachers are disguised as a ‘challenge,’ but I love
‘getting it,’ and actually learn to appreciate and
honor the role these souls have agreed to play in my
script. My challenge has been forgiving myself. I
deserve better from myself, and have expressed a
willingness to enjoy this new journey of
self-forgiveness. I am learning to honor myself as I
learn to let go of a judging process that no longer fits
for me. I am learning to lighten up, being gentle with
myself, as I am with others. It takes diligence and
compassion to change old behavior patterns! We can all
choose in the moment to STOP and choose differently.
Know that we are not alone. Spirit helps create a shift
in us if we ask for help.
When we fail to forgive, our health is affected. Our
bodies become shut down. A Course in Miracles teaches us
that anything that is not love is fear. Love makes our
immune system stronger, healing our bodies. There is a
wonderful book called Feelings Buried Alive Never Die
by Karol Truman. I use it with all my clients
suffering a physical ailment. Karol teaches us how our
emotions affect our bodies, by naming the probable
causes of our illness. Rarely have I found a client who
did not agree fully with the probable emotional cause of
an illness. We are healthy when we are harmonious and
Because our beliefs write our scripts, living
authentically means releasing outdated, self-limiting
patterns, moving into our greatness. It is possible to
let go of sabotaging thoughts because we created them in
the first place, or we assumed them from someone else. I
have spent years releasing beliefs that no longer serve
me, and yet sometimes that need for perfectionism still
lingers as a noose around my neck. Yet, my own
expectations for myself put a lot of pressure on me, and
I don’t always ‘fly lightly.' There is a feeling of
inner peace when we can relinquish judgment of self and
Living authentically is being committed to the truth
of who we are, pure consciousness. It is setting the
intention to walk with God more fully and gratefully,
experiencing love. This work is a lifetime process, but
in each moment, we have a choice. What choices will you
make to live authentically today?
I offer some affirmations from my book, Invitation
to Greatness, which have assisted me in living a
more authentic life. I invite you to choose the
affirmations that are most meaningful to you, and make
them a part of your daily ritual.
- I choose life-affirming patterns for myself.
- I am a powerful being, reawakening to that power.
- I have the courage to speak my truth.
- I give myself permission to be who I am. I approve
- I trust my journey of unfolding. I am in the flow of
- I am responsible for my own thoughts, feelings and
- Nothing outside of me can cause me to lose my peace
- I know I am not alone. The Universe supports me.
- I ask for guidance in each moment.
- In every moment I can make the choice for love.
©Copyright 2003 Kay Nuyens. All Rights Reserved.
Kay Nuyens spent
twenty-five years teaching and counseling in the public
schools before buying early retirement in 1998. She has
manifested a new, more joyful and fulfilling life for
herself. She is now a certified clinical hypnotherapist,
author, speaker, teacher and a certified JOY
Practitioner, assisting struggling students to feel
successful. Her goal is to empower people to find their
inner connection, healing issues through awareness,
compassion and the power of love. Kay offers private
sessions, personal growth classes and workshops.
Her new book, "Invitation
to Greatness" is a workbook for personal growth. It
contains a treasure trove of exercises for inner
reflection, self-expression, clearing blocks and
creating new patterns. It is a personal journey to
discover your inner healer, your own loving essence.
Learn specific healing techniques to gain emotional
freedom and peace of mind. Discover how YOU can create a
successful life script!