The Question of Time
by Lenedra J. Carroll
 What Time Is It?
"I'm afraid I have bad news about that demo tape, Jewel," I tell her playfully. "I'm not going to help you make it." We are walking along a favorite stretch of beach; the low sun casts a golden hue on the foam at the water's edge. It swirls around our toes. For months now she has been requesting my help to create a tape of her songs to pitch to record labels. Each time I asked her to focus instead on deciding what she most wants to do. Now that she knows she wants to pursue a career in music she is asking again about making the demo.
Splashing in the sea froth at my feet I say, "Let's not do it that way! Making a demo tape and knocking on doors, trying to get others to listen, pitching you loud enough for someone to hear...all of that is part of an old way of working that has nothing to do with us. We don't need to participate in any of it. No one needs to really. There's an entirely different way to work in business. It utilizes the principles of the outgoing wave."
"What do you mean?" Jewel said, "I don't know what you're talking about!"
We stop at a favorite meditation rock and sit facing into the sunset. "What is needed instead, Jewel, is for you to know what time it is. Asking the question, 'What time is it now?' is a great way to determine what the next step is.
"If it was truly demo time, the demo resources would be more apparent. But when we examine our resources, there aren't any for it -- no money or people, no situations, or energy even, that would create it. Instead of forcing a demo simply because everyone says you have to have one, let's ask what time it is."
"Okay," she said, "What time is it?" She was flipping sand into the air with her toes, partially intrigued and partially annoyed, anxious to take action.
"It's not time for you to get someone else to hear your songs and give opinions about you. It's time for you to get your own feel for yourself as a singer-songwriter. You don't feel like a writer or singer; you're very uncertain about it, you've only written about a dozen songs. You don't know if you can keep writing, you aren't certain where they come from. You don't know if larger audiences will like your songs or if a fan base will start to grow. There is no place in you where you can own all of this yet -- this idea about yourself and your work, your talent, your audience. And you will need this self-knowledge to create from and take your dream forward. When we ask what time it is, the answer is that it's time for you to have that experience -- the one of performing and relating to the group that would become your audience, experimenting with your material, feeling yourself in the role."
The orange orb of sun dipping into the water interrupts our conversation and we sit quietly, our skin taking on a rosy sheen. I think briefly how grateful I am for Jewel's trust and her willingness to innovate...
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Copyright Lenedra J. Carroll. This article was originally
published at our website, SoulfulLiving.com, in January 2002, as part of Soulful Living's "Being Present" Issue.
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